Full List of Articles in Vol. 2 Iss. 1
BUY THIS ISSUE
National/World News:
Headline News
In Mein Kampf or the Enemy Kamp
Your Favorite World Leaders: A Quick Reference
Homeland Security-Starbux Initiative Creates Chaos
A Patriotic Proposal Jonathan Swift Revamped for the 21st Century
Alaska State News:
Road Policy Reveals True Mystic Nature of Alaska's Royal Leader
Advice:
Dr. Geyges Advises:
Dr. G's Guide for the Perplexed
Art:
Select Pieces by Hieronymus Bush:
* Freedom and Democracy in Iraq
* The Bosch Administration
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CHE CAVOLO'S EDITORIAL:
Where does The Giant Cabbage come from?
“I think it comes from Hell!!”
READ EDITORIAL
NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:
Homeland Security/Starbux Initiative Creates Chaos
SEATTLE/WASHINGTON, D.C. - It looked like another of the administration's perfect matches--making our Vaterland safer while boosting corporate profits with taxpayer money--but the recent Christmas holiday Code Orange proved catastrophic for the new Department of Homeland Security-Starbux alliance. Its “Free Coffee for Alert Citizens/Alert Travelers” initiative was the cause of 76 emergency aircraft landings, a dozen deaths, over 400 injuries, and property damage of over $1 billion, to say nothing of the lawsuit awards it will generate...
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ALASKA NEWS:
Road Policy Reveals True Mystic Nature of Alaska's Royal Leader
Build Them and They Will Come
JUNEAU - Alaska’s Royal Governor, Frank Murkowski's bold and pricey proposals for building roads into the wilderness seem paradoxical in a state that runs steady deficits, and where budget cuts have brought his subjects—from children to octogenarians to teachers—to dream wistfully of the quasi-socialist Eden of Dickens's England.
In a mix of awe, fear, and reverence, critics have begun to speak of His Royal Highness in biblical terms. In fact, Murkowski created his kingdom Old-Testament-style, bestowing grace upon the chosen and casting those who fell from favor into the frozen “white nothingness.” Having made the Apocalyptic parameters clear, Alaska’s ruler turned the page to the Gospels and began mouthing kind things about assisting the dispossessed elderly, the economic outcast, and the poor, illiterate children who will never have the means to succeed. But if religion is the key, then a careful look at His Highness reveals more than a Christian—he is a complex mystic with a penchant for New-Age thinking...
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DR. GEYGES ADVISES:
Dr. Geyges, noted lecturer, teacher, and author of Right Rites and Practical Practices for the Theologically Challenged, brings solace to The Giant Cabbage readers through considered analysis and sound advice.
Dear Dr. Geyges,
We are a very decent Christian couple and have been married for ten years now. We attend church Wednesday nights and twice on Sunday. We send all four of our children to Sunday School and the baby to nursery. But yesterday something terrible happened at the morning service during the collection when the congregation was singing that wonderful old hymn "There is a Fountain Filled with Blood Drawn from Emmanuel's Veins." Suddenly my wife asked me, loud enough that the Pastor and the whole congregation could hear her "How could they get so much blood into a fountain?!" Everyone turned to stare at us! When I tried to place my hand over her mouth to stop her blasphemous questioning in church, as the blessed St. Paul says in his first letter to the Corinthians 11: 14-33-35, until I could get her home to answer her, she bit me and bent my wedding ring...
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