Breaking the News to See What's Inside!

Volume 1 Issue 7

BRAVE NEW WORLD ORDER: LIVING AMONG THE OMEGAS

November 2003

CURRENT ISSUE

ARCHIVES

ADVERTISING

SUBSCRIPTIONS

WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE?

Full List of Articles in Vol. 1 Issue 7 Buy This Issue National/World News: Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch Favored to Succeed John Paul II Aftermath of the Gubernatorial Recall Election: Millions Flock to the New Reich of Kaliförnia Local Mechanic Wins Coveted Presidential BASHTHEM Award $20 Bill Color Change Resolves Philosophical Quandary Alaska State News: Civic Group Advocates Balancing Alaska's Budget by Investing in Underworld Activities Trying Days at the Troubled FNSB Assembly of Toddlers Language/ Advice: Disney's Paradox and the Scatology of Consumerism Dr. Geyges Advises: Dr. G's Guide for the Perplexed

EDITORIAL: Living Among the Omegas Aldous Huxley’s utopia foresaw a rosy future in which humans happily inhabited levels Alpha through Delta in society. Our Brave New World Order surpasses Huxley’s wildest dreams, as people have reached all the way to Omega, where an awful lot of them reside. Despite this hopeful picture of humanity, not all is well. ... READ MORE

NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS: Mass Media Mogul Rupert Murdoch Favored to Succeed John Paul II VATICAN CITY - The Silver Jubilee of Pope John Paul II was somewhat less than celebratory amid questions of how long the frail Pontiff might live. Known worldwide as the Energizer Pope, John Paul II is clearly losing his charge, and the halls of the Vatican are replete with speculation as to who will succeed the man who finally ushered the Catholic Church into the 20th Century. At the head of the pack of contenders is Austalio-American media mogul Rupert Murdoch, whose mass media empire and conservative political views make him a favorite... READ MORE

ALASKAN NEWS: Civic Group Advocates Balancing Budget Through Corruption and Illegal Activities ANCHORAGE - Despite His Royal Highness Frank “Our Exalted Savior” Murkowski's firm hand at Alaska's helm, a slate of state politicians unable to kick their allergy to informed electors or the word “taxes,” and the new Hail Mary of gambling to save state finances, Alaska's budget crisis continues unabated. November 2nd, however, saw hope in the inaugural meeting of the citizen group Salvaging Alaska's Nose-diving Economy (SANE). While legislators debated taking advantage of the general public's ignorance of the laws of probability to refill state coffers with a lottery (as one senate staffer put it: “if they voted Murkowski, they should definitely buy a lottery ticket--the odds of winning something are way better”), Wilda P. Polriesup, President of SANE, was blowing the hypocrisy of lawmakers and our moral double standards wide open to unveil the key to fiscal balance.... READ MORE